Basic Instinct

I'm not sure if this is one of those myths that roll around and you eventually believe or if it is based on truth, but as some point I remember learning or being told that humans are born with two basic instincts. The first is the instinct to suckle.

As I type this a memory comes rushing forth. Not sure how this evolved, and as a parent I don't think I'd admit this on anything with my name attached. When my daughter was just an infant, there were three things that would make her cry. So when she would get rolling we had the checklist. Dirty diaper? Tired? Hungry? Now, since I could not feed my daughter (only mom had the physical assets to accomplish that), I developed a check. I'd bend my head down to her and put the tip of my nose within reach of her mouth. If she latched on, that was proof positive she was hungry. There's the suckle instinct. Gross. Dad needs a lesson in hygiene.

The second instinct is to grasp. Like when you fall, your instinct is to grab for something, without thinking. I think that this instinct has a definite spiritual component as well. For the past month, I've been out of the desert. Really enjoying my new role, new community, new challenges, etc. But, I have noticed a tendency to grasp.

While in the desert, one of the greatest learnings I had was how to hold things with open hands. In particular, my calling was an example of this. Without a doubt, I knew that God wanted me back in vocational ministry. He designed me for it and compelled me to it. The calling was clear and evident to me, and I'd even say to those close to me. Yet, even while compelled, I was able to hold this loosely. Not striving and refraining from pushing my way forward when nothing was evident. Yet, at the same time, I was able to accept modest opportunities when they presented. While I was thankful for the opportunities to speak, I held back from overstepping the opportunity.

That's holding things with open hands. Following God's lead, but not running out in front. Not grasping on to the old ways. I did the same in other areas: my marital expectations, developing relationships, and spirituality to give a few examples.

Lately, though, I've noticed the temptation to clench my spiritual hands together and grab on tightly begin to creep in. Clinging to the old. It is the same old battle with my pride. It is so important to deny myself daily.

Today was a particularly acute day. All day I clung to my fear of inadequacy. Afraid that I would not measure up. Pride plain and simple. In the midst of changes and challenges, it became so easy to reach out and cling to the old and familiar. Believing the lie. It was almost instinctual. Yet I know it's not, it is just my root sin. My evil pal.

There are also some dreams that I've been clinging to, again that involve my pride. Going back to the false lens that evaluates people's worth by what they can do for me. For me, this is the latest episode in my Paschal Mystery that God has put before me. Releasing some of my old expectations and desires that I have, particularly in my marriage, so that God can bless me with the new. In this case, the old is so much easier to cling to because the new is not my vision or even necessarily what will make me happiest in a worldly kind of way. Yet God knows best. And releasing these dreams is my latest act of trust. Or rather, will be when I am able to honestly say that I've let them go.

Tonight in the car, I yelled at God. For about ten minutes. Just let Him have it. I cling to my anger. Great counsel has been given to me that I must learn to do something with my anger, I just struggle to know what that is. God is involved in the process somehow. If I cling to it and hold it in, that is just more pride (for me, it's really all about pride). Pride in acting as if I can solve the problem myself. If I just act like it's not there, it will go away. Won't it? Denying my need for God.

So I yelled. And cried, although that doesn't seem very manly to admit (doooohhh, more pride). That's a step of trust that God is going to love me anyway. That He'll be able to accept how I'm really feeling and won't abandon me. It actually let to a good evening of prayer alone in my study. Pretty sure yelling isn't the long term solution, but neither is holding onto the anger with a tight fist.

Pride clouded the lens. But I am choosing the Gospel lens. Believing that God loves me and wants to bear my burdens (anger) with me and He'll never leave me nor forsake me - even when I would not judge my performance to be adequate.

I am choosing to trust that His plans for me are so much better than the plans that I have for myself. So, letting go of my dreams, expectations and vision of what would fulfill me becomes possible only with the Gospel lens. Otherwise I would continue to be consumed trying to fill my only perceived areas of lack.

As far as my fear, I have to trust that the works of service that God has called me to were prepared by God in advance. Not as a test to determine my worth, but as an opportunity He created for me to worship with my life. I am already fully secure with Him, regardless of my performance.

The Gospel lens beats the basic instinct.

Back to The Cave

The lens presents us with a choice. We can either live in light of the truth, the gospel lens, that says that God has already solved our biggest problem or we can believe the lie and remain trapped by our false identity, constantly serving it to keep it satisfied. This choice is just like the one presented in The Cave.

If you recall, the view of reality for those held prisoner in the cave was just a shadow of a made up world. Each person's identity was a cave dweller, sitting and watching the shadows. Yet, when the chains were released, there is a choice and a new identity can be created. The person can leave the cave and experience the wonder and beauty of things unknown. This new world that was created for them was there all along, they just needed to make the steps to enter in.

Freedom is the gospel lens. Entering the light is part of the lens of Jesus. In it there is a light burden and there is no enslavement.

Yet, what if someone chose to remain in the cave? This is entirely possible. We see it all the time. Even being a prisoner is comfortable. It is known. There is no risk, no change, no possible pain. It is easy to simply sit back down and watch the shadows.

The Israelites did this as they trudged through the desert. Shouting down Moses, demanding to turn around because at least in Egypt they had meat in their pot. It is well documented that prisoners get comfortable being institutionalized. Experiencing the expanse of the world, being force to make decisions on the outside become difficult and painful. So much easier to embrace the shadows.

But to believe the lie, to cling to the false identity, is to miss freedom. To continue looking through the dirty lens means that our energy will continually be expended placating and satisfying the false self. And the demands of the false self grow and grow and grow, and we struggle more and more and more to meet them in an exhausting cycle that brings less and less satisfaction.

Look at the twelve step program. In its essence, these programs do a wonderful job. The intent of a program like Alcoholics Anonymous is to identify alcoholism and call it what it is for the purpose of changing the lens. When you read through the twelve steps, the only one that mentions alcohol is number 1. The rest of the steps highlight the process of shedding the old identity and substituting it with another based on God.

Where this process fails is when the person involved misses the point and instead clings to the identity of alcoholic. Believing the lie that their struggle defines them, trapped in the cave of shame and sorrow rather than experiencing true freedom.

You and I, as followers of Christ, are free of the lie. We have the ability to walk out of the cave and become what God intended us. Experiencing His love and letting it renew and strengthen us daily. As the Paschal Mystery describes, though, we cannot be blessed by the new if we are still clinging to the old - if we refuse to walk up the steps, refusing to look through the gospel lens.

Making the Adjustment

In the often used sermon example, we are told that experts in identifying counterfeit bills are trained not by looking at forgeries, but rather in becoming so familiar with the real thing that imperfections are obvious.

The same is true with our identities in Christ. When we walk with Him, we have our new identity, yet we need to be so familiar with the gospel lens that we are not fooled by substitutes. Even subtle ones. Most subtle is when we are entice to do things to make ourselves presentable to God. Climbing the ladder of religion. It is subtle because it looks so Good. But it is deceiving because in reality, our identity become based on what we are doing. Trying to earn our way to God.

True identity is not a product of the things we do for God, but rather the things we do for God are a product of our true identity.

But it is not just enough to clean the lens and be familiar with what the Bible says about who we are in Christ. When I wandered away and was enslaved by my false self, like the prodigal son finding himself lying hungry in a pig pen, something I did early on was confront my identity issues. From that came my identity statement in Christ. A good start, a worthy first step, but not worth much if that's where the journey ends. My journey paused there while my true identity in Christ had an epic battle with my false one created by my root sin of pride. I was up against my Wall.

We have to make the adjustment by looking at ourselves through the gospel lens. Like the red lens I would get in a box of Cracker Jacks when I was a kid. Turn the lens on a piece of paper with a bunch of red dots and it reveals a message or picture underneath. There the entire time, you just have to cut through the clutter with the proper lens.

When we take the time to examine ourselves through the gospel lens, cutting through the clutter, we can see that our behaviors are the way we feed our false self. Providing a temporary comfort. Placating the things within that we don't want to confront.

For me, the gospel lens revealed my pride. It would never be enough to try to 'stop' being a people pleaser, to 'stop' seeking affirmation at work, or to 'stop' being passive in an effort to make my wife happy. Overcoming those things with more Bible study and prayer, while good intentioned, would have been another attempt to 'do' for God. I couldn't stop these behaviors anymore that I could stop myself from sweating in the sun - that is until I looked at myself through the gospel lens and understood that all these behaviors were just an effort to satisfy the false self created by my pride.

At the moment of my Miracle, God told me the problem was my sin. That's been true on a much deeper level than my prodigal behavior, and it took that first step of cleaning my lens by developing and understanding my identity in Christ. But I had to use that lens to make the adjustment to live out of my true, God-given identity in Christ. Shining the pure light of Christ on my soul, revealing by his true humility how pervasive my pride was.

Cleaning the Lens

Our behavior is related to our identity, and our identity is a product of the lens that we are using to examine ourselves. In the last blog, I introduced us to the three main lenses that create in us a false identity. Seeking to define who we are based on what we have, the things we do, or what people are thinking about us.

So often in my life in Christ, I've gotten trapped in battling behaviors. Fighting the losing battle to make myself look better. Perilously close to becoming a white washed tomb. But to really overcome, to really take part in the life of Christ and his suffering, our identity must be in Him. That is a process that first requires cleaning the lens, looking at ourselves through the gospel lens or the lens of Christ.

One of the most common examples I have from my experience in ministry and the academic world is from the life of single people. Many singles find their identity in singleness. Said another way, their identity begins to be defined by what they do not have, a spouse. So now their actions are based on this perceived hole in their identity. This makes it easier to compromise beliefs or put themselves in harmful situations and relationships. All in the name of being complete (remember Jerry Maguire?). Filling the perceived lack.

If not what I have, the things I do, or what people think of me, then what?

Here is the gospel lens; statements God makes about our identity. This list was given to me, so if I missed any, don't hesitate to let me know.

1. I have been healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
2. I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)
3. I am the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)
4. I am commissioned to make disciples. (Matthew 28:19, 20)
5. I am a child of God. (John 1:12)
6. I have eternal life. (John 10:27)
7. I have been given peace. (John 14:27)
8. I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life. (John 15:1, 5)
9. I am clean. (John 15:3)
10. I am Christ’s friend. (John 15:15)
11. I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit. (John 15:16)
12. I have been given glory. (John 17:22)
13. I have been justified…completely forgiven and made righteous. (Romans 5:1)
14. I died with Christ and died to the power of sin’s rule over my life. (Romans 6:1 – 6)
15. I am a slave of righteousness. (Romans 6:18)
16. I am free from sin and enslaved to God. (Romans 6:22)
17. I am free forever from condemnation. (Romans 8:1)
18. I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father. (Romans 8:14, 15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
19. I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance with Him. (Romans 8:17)
20. I am more than a conqueror through Christ, Who loves me. (Romans 8:37)
21. I have faith. (Romans 12:3)
22. I have been sanctified and called to holiness. (1 Corinthians 1:2)
23. I have been given grace in Christ Jesus. (1 Corinthians 1:4)
24. I have been placed into Christ by God’s doing. (1 Corinthians 1:30)
25. I have received the Spirit of God into my life that I might know the things freely given to me by God. (1 Corinthians 2:12)
26. I have been given the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
27. I am a temple…a dwelling place…of God. His Spirit and His life dwells in me. (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
28. I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
29. I have been bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20; 7:23)
30. I am called. (1 Corinthians 7:17)
31. I am a member of Christ’s Body. (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
32. I am victorious through Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)
33. I have been established, anointed and sealed by God in Christ, and I have been given the Holy Spirit as a pledge guaranteeing my inheritance to come. (2 Corinthians 1:21; Ephesians 1:13, 14)
34. I am led by God in triumphal procession. (2 Corinthians 2:14)
35. I am to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:15)
36. I am being changed into the likeness of Christ. (2 Corinthians 3:18)
37. Since I have died, I no longer live for myself, but for Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:14, 15)
38. I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
39. I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18, 19)
40. I have been made righteous. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
41. I am given strength in exchange for weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:10)
42. I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I am now living is Christ’s life. (Galatians 2:20)
43. I am a son of God and one in Christ. (Galatians 3:26, 28)
44. I am Abraham’s seed…an heir of the promise. (Galatians 3:29)
45. I am an heir of God since I am a son of God. (Galatians 4:6, 7)
46. I am a saint. (Ephesians 1:1, 1 Corinthians 1:2, Philippians 1:1, Colossians 1:2)
47. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. (Ephesians 1:3)
48. I was chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and without blame before Him. (Ephesians 1:4)
49. I was predestined…determined by God…to be adopted as God’s son. (Ephesians 1:5)
50. I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 1:13)
51. I have been redeemed and forgiven, and I am a recipient of His lavish grace.
52. I have been made alive together with Christ. (Ephesians 2:5)
53. I have been raised up and seated with Christ in heaven. (Ephesians 2:6)
54. I am God’s workmanship…His handiwork…born anew in Christ to do His work. (Ephesians 2:10)
55. I have direct access to God through the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:18)
56. I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family. (Ephesians 2:19)
57. I may approach God with boldness, freedom, and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)
58. I am righteous and holy. (Ephesians 4:24)
59. I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now. (Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:6)
60. I am capable. (Philippians 4:13)
61. I have been rescued from the domain of Satan’s rule and transferred to the kingdom of Christ. (Colossians 1:13)
62. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. The debt against me has been cancelled. (Colossians 1:14)
63. I am blameless and free from accusation. (Colossians 1:22)
64. Christ Himself is in me. (Colossians 1:27)
65. I am firmly rooted in Christ and am now being built up in Him. (Colossians 2:7)
66. I have been made complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
67. I have been spiritually circumcised. My old unregenerate nature has been removed. (Colossians 2:11)
68. I have been buried, raised, and made alive with Christ. (Colossians 2:12, 13)
69. I died with Christ and I have been raised up with Christ. My life is now hidden with Christ in God. Christ is now my life. (Colossians 3:1 – 4)
70. I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life. (Colossians 3:4)
71. I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. (Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
72. I am a son of light and not of darkness. (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
73. I have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
74. I have been saved and set apart according to God’s doing. (2 Timothy 1:9; Titus 3:5)
75. Because I am sanctified and am one with the Sanctifier, He is not ashamed to call me brother. (Hebrews 2:11)
76. I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling. (Hebrews 3:1)
77. I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life. (Hebrews 3:14)
78. I have the right to come boldly before the throne of God to find mercy and grace in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
79. I have been born again. (1 Peter 1:23)
80. I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house. (1 Peter 2:5)
81. I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession. (1 Peter 2:9, 10)
82. I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live. (1 Peter 2:11)
83. I am an enemy of the devil. (1 Peter 5:8)
84. I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God by which I am a partaker of God’s divine nature. (2 Peter 1:4)
85. I am forgiven on the account of Jesus’s name. (1 John 2:12)
86. I am anointed by God. (1 John 2:27)
87. I am a child of god and I will resemble Christ when He returns. (1 John 3:1, 2)
88. I am loved. (1 John 4:10)
89. I am like Christ. (1 John 4:17)
90. I have life. (1 John 5:12)
91. I am born of God, and the evil one…the devil…cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)
92. I have been redeemed. (Revelation 5:9)