A Touching Moment

Met with a friend last week. Someone who has been on this journey of recovery since the beginning. In my last blog I mentioned my relational desert. As of right now I can think of three people who have been consistently walking with me. They are my manna. Provided by God. Miracles of the journey.

This friend and I went for a ride and sat in a park and talked for awhile. The future came up. A subject that I'm filled with hope about, but a reluctance to build up any expectations. Anything the future holds is a gift and I just want to soak in every moment of this journey.

During our conversation he said something to the effect of "Friend, I know thinking about the future is tough for you, but I want you to know that when I look at you and when I'm with you, I never think of the past. It never occurs to me." He was offering me one of the greatest gifts that anyone could - he is choosing to not define me by my past and my mistakes.

Swimming in forgiveness and grace feels so good and freeing. Admittedly, this friend was brought to me by God after everything in my life blew up, so maybe it was easier for him to not define me by my failure. Maybe. Either way, I'm not going to dwell on that point, I am just going to enjoy how refreshed my heart felt at being offered this gift.

It made me think of God. He has been through all of this with me. He did have to endure the heartbreak of my failures. Yet, the Bible is clear that I can still freely stand at the foot of the throne of grace and mercy and have it heaped on me. God too chooses not to define me by my failure and disappointment, but rather uses it for my good. And He has. This journey is a good one.

I know as I continue on my life will be filled with more friends who will know little of where I've been. In some ways it will become the distant past, too far back on the horizon for most to see. At that point I hope for two things - that I'll be able to comfort others with the comfort I've received, and that others whom I have disappointed will join the journey and define me as God does.