Love Your Neighbor as Yourself

Think of the instructions you are given on an airplane that is about to take off. In the case of an emergency that causes the cabin to depressurize, when the masks fall out of the ceiling what are we instructed to do?

The answer is that we are told to put our own mask on first before putting the masks on our children or others who need assistance. One mistaken way to think about this is that I am selfishly choosing to take care of myself before taking care of others! When looked at logically, very, very few people (hopefully) would agree with that declaration, for how could I possibly help my neighbor out if I am passed out in my seat from lack of oxygen.

In much the same way, we could look at Jesus' declaration (quoting Leviticus) to "love your neighbor as yourself". The first part of that we are pretty comfortable with and seems pretty straightforward. Loving our neighbor we can control and feels pretty safe. Bottom line, I have the ability to easily measure how I'm doing in this area.

But the part about loving yourself is more sticky. Conservatives in our Christian sub-culture react very vehemently against the idea of self-love, equating it with selfishness and the sin nature. On the other swing of the pendulum, liberals can embrace self-love to the point that pleasing the self and doing what feels right becomes the idol.

Why then, has Jesus included this caveat? Does this imply that I can only love my neighbor if I love myself? Or is it more like a limitation, that I can only love my neighbor as much as I'm able to love myself?

It is unfortunate that this statement of Jesus gets clouded by the narcissism that runs rampant in our culture. For us, these two concepts have become fused together so that self-love means considering our needs as preeminent, with not care or awareness for how satisfying them affects anyone else.

In some fascinating readings about relational systems, I have repeatedly come across this well accepted facet of relationships and conflict. We will, often without knowing or acknowledging it, react to the real or perceived defects and flaws in others that we feel are similar to our own imperfections.

Or, stated another way, the things we don't love about ourselves are the things we don't love in others.

Loving ourselves does not mean narcissistically satisfying every want or desire that we have. It is not an act of falsely inflating our self esteem or considering ourselves of more worth or importance than someone else. It also doesn't mean that I just accept my sin as part of what I love.

What Jesus is reminding us of is the fact that we were crafted by God. He knows everything about us. We are of so much worth to Him that Jesus came to die for our relationship with God. Nothing about us is an accident. We have been given abilities, inabilities, circumstance, strengths and weaknesses that are intended to bring Him glory.

So I should not hate my need for affirmation, but should instead relish the strength that God gets to display as I allow Him to overcome that weakness in me. Only then, will my actions be truly loving because I'll not be using them to satisfy some need in me.

Loving ourselves is not a sin, it is a command.

And it is what makes loving others a possibility.

Compelling

We hear stories out of China detailing how Christians must get up before the sun in order to walk to the home church they meet in. Or in Korea, we observe people who - EVERY DAY - get up before their 12 hour factory shift in order to experience life with other members of the body. Or those in India who forsake their familial relationship or abandon their caste in order to follow Christ.

For them, there is some so compelling about Jesus that they run through difficulty and trial in order to be present with Him.

Something. So. Compelling.

About Jesus.

While they seemingly would run over a mile of hot coals just to know Jesus, I see a lot of us who look for reasons to take a weekend off from our life in Christ. (Not that church attendance is equivalent to our entire life in Christ, but for many people it provides a barometer of their spiritual temperature.) Out late the night before. Weather's good at the beach. Literally, there are significant pockets of people who take the entire summer off from Body life because it is...summer. Better things to do.

Jesus is compelling. In fact, He is the blessing. No need for Jesus plus anything else. Just Jesus. So, why is it that the people we lead get tripped up by something like their surroundings while others find it a privilege to endure every major and minor discomfort and inconvenience to be part of the body?

This is a big question. And it involves the church culture that we have created at the norm for ourselves. It is the product of our corporation mindset of success. We leaders have adapted to the consumer culture we are immersed in by creating a consumer culture in our churches.

Growth strategies that are espoused have to do with professional looking music and lights, movie quality video segments, printing, theater seating, service times based on convenience, and messages promising to improve life quality. Not that these things are wrong things, but they are being used as the foundational attractional piece to what we do. So, it should come as no surprise that our churches are producing consumers, and consumers live in apathy.

One of my favorite Andy Stanley leadership lines is that "your system is perfectly designed to produce the results your getting". Maybe, then, it is true that we have gotten what WE'VE produced.

Apathy is what you get from consumers. Apathy is what you get when a christian-looking life is the product you are trying to produce. The church is full of the programs that we've designed to give people measures of their spiritual success. Then, as leaders we can feel good about our results that we measure, and our consumers can feel good about how they've cleared their plates.

When everything is boiled away, what we've created is a system based on our self-effort. Jesus franchises selling better life principles. It is another attempt to be our own gods, the original sin of the garden rearing its head once again. Leaders are comfortable because it is not messy (hectic yes, messy no) and can be easily controlled and measured. Consumers are happy because they know just what to do in order to be successful. The change we're concerned about it visible, and moving forward like a bull stock market is the definition of success.

Problem (well, one of them) is that consumers get bored with products. As evidence, just see every product in the grocery store that says "improved" on it. (My personal favorite is dog food that is labeled "improved taste". Now, how am I going to verify that claim?)

Maybe it is time for the church to grow a backbone and break free of culture rather than mimicking it. Let's reinvent ourselves and introduce our people to Jesus. Just Jesus. Unplug the light shows and clever videos and messages about how great my life can be and show them the one who promises to renew the soul. Because when He moves in, you may have seasons of questions, you may have dark nights of the soul, or wander in the desert, but you will not be apathetic.

It seems a disservice to placate people to heaven (or at least thinking they are heading there) rather then compelling them to choose. Hot or cold are the red letter words of Jesus. Then we can walk with them, pastor them, know them through their decision. Help them open to God so He can shape their behavior.

Exponential church growth may not happen. But do we really think the apathy we are met with is indicative of a life fully devoted to their new identity in Christ? It would be better to equip a few to live that new identity out, demonstrating love for one another, so the world will know why life in Christ is different, than to use our present growth strategies to have auditoriums filled with lukewarm people.

Soul growth is slow and laborious. Like tilling Midwestern soil. If Jesus is to be believed and weeds crowd out truth, then we have to be prepared for the back-breaking work of pulling the weeds; disconnecting from the things that distract our attention from the Living God. Developing openness and readiness for God.

Jesus is just that compelling.