Father's Day

Soon after I returned to the wife of my youth (as the Proverbs recommend), my daughter, wife and I ended up at Wet 'n' Wild. My daughter and I love water parks and could stay until we were both pruned beyond recognition. On the other hand, my wife tolerates them and would much rather lay in the chair sunning herself. Since this was one of our first family days since my return, she was choosing to tough it out. Thanks, mamacita, for taking one for the team!!!

Anyway, picture the three of us together in a family raft, all facing each other and about to go down a long and steep water slide. As the nice lifeguard let us drift to the edge, my daughter looks me dead in the eyes and screams "THIS IS THE BEST FAMILY EVER!" Admittedly her sample size for that statement is statistically small, but it was amazing to me that she would even say that. I actually cried on the way down the slide, which is a great time for a grown man to publicly shed tears - while getting splashed in the face going down a water slide.

It really does give you insight as to why Christ said we should have a childlike faith. After the three month stretch she had been put through by me and my selfish actions, my daughter was so happy that I was home and that our family was restored that she wanted to yell (and she takes after me in being very, very loud) for the entire ride line to hear. Instant forgiveness. Love without question. A wiping clean of the slate. I'm aware that there are probably some trust issues deep down that in time will need help; she may have to live with them in her own marriage. We'll confront those as they pop up, if they do become a reality. But for now I get to delight in my daughter's love. I'm daddy. Thank God I didn't destroy that.

To be totally upfront with you, I don't feel like dad of the year and I've been really dreading Father's Day. How can I be celebrated? It was the same way on my birthday last October; I just wanted to the day to pass unnoticed and unmentioned. Maybe next year we could remember the day, but not this year. Much like my birthday, though, the choice is not mine. You don't get to choose if or when you get to be celebrated, I guess. Some people choose to ignore the question of whether you deserve it or not and do it anyway.

At my birthday it was my mom-in-law. She and her husband have always been super generous with us and literally expect nothing in return. They drove way out of their way and gave up some vacation time to come and take me to dinner on my birthday. Gave me a nice gift too. And generally treated me not like the butt-ugly person I felt like, but as the returned, repentant prodigal husband that they were choosing to forgive. Saying thanks is a true understatement of the value of their actions.

Father's Day is coming up. Like I said, kinda wishing it could go by quietly. Again, not up to me. Apparently my daughter is so excited that she couldn't wait until the 20th, so the digits were reversed and we are celebrating on the 02nd. Tomorrow. A couple weeks ago I was told to plan nothing for tomorrow for my Father's Day celebration was going to be an all day affair.

Of course my daughter, who is 9, could not make her plans reality without the help of my wife. While she is not as far along as my daughter at wiping the slate clean, to me it is saying something about her desire to eventually get to that point that she can enthusiastically help my daughter create an environment to celebrate me being her dad.

I have no idea what is in store. Maybe we'll go to a water park. (My poor wife.) It's not what we do that I care about at all. What I do know is that the day is totally my daughter's idea. I still don't think I am worthy of celebrating, but I am very excited about tomorrow. It's a reminder of restoration and forgiveness. Like God giving me a first and second chance that I didn't deserve, my daughter has held nothing against me. That is a very real, powerful and humbling example of forgiveness. No wonder Jesus told us to have the faith of one of these.