Chosen

In the past couple blogs, I've made mention and begun to develop the ideas of a reflected sense of self and the very real, continual battle between our false self and our new, true self in Christ. There is a lot to unpack in those ideas and their relationship to our developing identity in Christ.

We hear a lot in our culture about people "finding themselves" and "getting to know who I am". This is an identity statement. Quite often this is a response to a bad relationship or a child leaving the home. They now want to find out who they are outside of the context of a bad marriage or parental authority. The underlying premise of this statement is that there is someone who I naturally am, and I want to let that person come out and play.

Trouble is, to define ourselves we need some sort of reference point. Thus, what is really meant by finding oneself is, who do I become if I change the reference point. Instead of a marriage being the source of that definition (identity), maybe self is view as an artist, or as a mother, or a social worker.

None of those things are going to satisfy the restlessness of our soul. Our longing for significance, to right the tragedy of the fall. The image of the Creator in us longs for this. As a result, we form idols in our lives - relationships, sex, money, parenthood, fantasy football - that we can 'control'. It is our desire to be like a god. Just like Adam.

Christ wants to be our identity. Not to crush us or to make the Borg (Star Trek reference, sorry) out of us, but to release our true self. That self God created can only be found in Christ. Our sense of our self must be reflected to us by Christ.

Having Christ reflect our sense of self to us requires that we know the truth; it is the truth that sets us free. So, we need to know the Gospel and hide it in our hearts in order that we can have a Gospel that we tell ourselves.

A way to open ourselves to God. A way to deny our false self and embrace our true self in Christ. Especially as we fight the battle against alternative sources of significance.

The more I learn about my brokenness, the better formed the Gospel I tell myself becomes. One of my battles (yes, it is a many fronted battle) is with my circumstances. It is easy for me to fuse the status of my standing with God and the state of my circumstances. For the last few months I've been training for a half-marathon. Thirteen and one tenth grueling miles. It was going so good, a source of success amidst the seeming uncertainty and chaos of the rest of my life.

I hadn't even become aware how much significance I was placing in my new found ability until I tweaked my hamstring. Hurt to run, had to limp home. As I was doing so I just became devastated by this turn of events and it became a catalyst for me. The one thing! It's all I had! Tearfully I turned my head to the night sky and yelled "God, I know in my head that you are for me, but I am having so much trouble believing that right now! Everything is such a mess!"

After a somewhat downcast night of sleep, the next morning God was going to answer my temper tantrum. Reading Ephesians 1, I was reminded that running was not the one thing; God himself chose me in Christ - that is the one thing. And significant to so much of what I struggle with in denying my false self. Being chosen is not part of the Gospel I preach to myself.

I am chosen in Christ, my circumstances don't dictate God's approval of me. God notices me when no one else does. If God went to this trouble, my life is significant. I am God's creation, created with a purpose.

Picking the right reference point has enabled me to be certain of who I truly am.